Birth Then What?
By
Michael Thurman
You and I know that when we were born, we could do nothing on our own except eat, cry, and poop. We were helpless. We could eat but someone had to feed us. We filled our diapers but someone had to change them. We cried when we were hungry, our diaper needed change, or we felt the need for love but someone else had to fulfill that need.
Some of us had good parents. They knew how to care for us and did it. Others were not so fortunate; their parents either did not know what to do or were to wrapped up in their own concerns to care for us properly. Many of those unfortunates often went hungry, wallowed in their own messes, and lived loveless lives. Some of them even died from neglect.
Most of those that lived with poor parents grew up to be poor parents also; while, most of those with good parents grew up to be good parents themselves. In both cases a few grew up to be the opposite of their parents (statically about 20%)
If you stop and think about this
you may notice something. Eighty percent of us chose to follow the example of
our parents. The other twenty percent chose a different path then their parents.
I said, "chose" because, they were aware of the other path;
however, they either did not understand those ways or did not want them in their
lives.
Parents have parenting skills.
Case one. Mom was a whiz at baby wipes and dad was great at comforting. Mom could handle the tantrums and dad could handle the crying. If you knew mom and dad before the babies, you knew mom always cleaned and dad had the patience of a Venus flytrap; however, mom could not tolerate bad behavior and dad shunned crying. If this was true how did they become so good at parenting? They learned it!
Case two. Mom yelled a lot and dad used the belt a lot. Mom couldn't handle anything and dad was never there. If you knew mom and dad before the babies, you knew mom always cleaned and dad had the patience of a Venus flytrap; however, mom could not tolerate bad behavior and dad shunned crying. What happened? They either didn't care or didn't learn the skills they needed to become better parents.
Case one's parents were grateful for their children. They were also thankful for the skills they had. But, in order to care for their children properly they had to learn new skills. When they did learn the skills, they used them; not because they enjoyed using those skills but, because they needed to fulfill their duties. These parents were not only thankful for their skills both natural and learned but, also grateful for the adult children those skills produced.
Case two's parents were not grateful for their skills. They didn't care to learn any new skills. And wondered why they had such pathetic adult children.
